8. Kulminator, Antwerp, Belgium

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I really wanted to love Kulminator. On paper, it excels; around 800 beers: unique personal furnishings; a resident cat; a long-serving, frail, elderly couple running the place since the 70s. Unfortunately, these proprietors are arseholes.

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Our beef with the owners is different to some reviews on ‘tripadvisor’, which mention a stunning, vocal over-reaction by the landlord to people sitting in his seat. We ordered a beer we were both familiar with, which we rarely see stocked: Timmermans Pêche. Being a generally poor beer, but a great fruit punch, Kulminator’s patrons usually come for something more renowned. Which is probably why ours were four years past their expiration. The carbonation kept the flurry of sediment circulating, some chunks of which were over a centimetre long. You know when you add warm butter to an egg mix too soon, and it creates a chunky mess?

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My girlfriend went to the bar to ask for a spoon for something fresher. Failing to grasp the concept, the grandmotherly figure said that they just have to put a date on the bottle, like this was some kind of explanation. Protesting further, the woman curtly replied that it won’t make us ill. Thanks grandma, I’m sure it was better in your day, when kids had respect for their elders. Once her arching back ambled away into the garden to deliver an order, we bolted.

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Venue: 4/10

Eerily quiet, although I’ve heard rumours about queues outside before opening.

Beer: 3/10

If you want to eat your beer, then it’s great. 800+ is too many for their customer base, their stock rotation too poor.

Worthy? No.

Rude.

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2 thoughts on “8. Kulminator, Antwerp, Belgium

  1. LOL at “stock rotation too poor for their customer base.” Perhaps you aren’t aware that people intentionally age certain beers, like the one you mentioned? Perhaps if you looked at the menu you’d notice that many of the beers are available in multiple vintages, and that the older ones cost more for this reason? Perhaps you missed the point that these aged beers are the very reason this place is known around the world as one of the best beer bars in the world?

    • LOL- you think people would age a Timmermans Pêche?! You’re crazy. Don’t be so naive- some cheeses age well and develop new, lovely flavours, some should be fresh. Just like beer. I’m well aware that they have old vintages, but I hardly think ‘leaving something in a cupboard for a few years’ necessarily translates in to a world class beer bar. Have you been?

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